We can still make last call.”. 100% Upvoted. Why was this happening? I got your number from so-and-so. I think I’m gonna come.” And then she looks up at me and goes, “Come in my face… nigger.” I know, that’s a tough one. And she just fell off the bench. By then, she’d heard about everything. Stan Lathan was directed this movie and starring by Dave Chappelle. But who is this handicapped guy we’re all waiting on that never shows up?” So, I hate going over to that school. That’s the first time that shit’s ever happened. I was warm and moist, and… I don’t know. That’s not fair.” I think Donald Sterling’s shit was more serious. I mean, I got sons anyway. Good night.” “All right, babe. For some reason, Lil Wayne’s guest starring as the lead detective. It’s my own business. It’s like tasting history. Even when my wife was pregnant, we used to go to a gynecologist… [chuckles] and he’d put her legs up in that stirrup like this. Because I’ll say shit, and Kate’s just too serious about being a lesbian. He was like… [whimpering] “‘Cause she had it coming.” I said… And everyone looked at me. I’m a real good defensive fighter. I don’t know where he got that from.” I said, “What does that mean, son? Dave Chappelle is bringing his popular early 2000s Comedy Central sketch show, Chappelle's Show to Netflix in the US this weekend. Is this 1850? And ISIS is fucking scary. “Ohio? Filmed at the Moody Theater in Austin, Texas, in April 2015. I got a huge dick, so she’s like… [grunting] And I’m like, “Wow, this really feels wonderful. It was fucking awful. Posted by 14 hours ago. Chop, chop. But I’m doing all right now. I admit it. You can always tell your wife is mad at you when they cover their titties up when you walk in. I was in Santa Fe the other night, and a motherfucker threw a banana peel at me. [crowd] Ohh! And I smiled from ear to ear. MOVIES132.TO- Watch Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas FULL FREE HD. You know that, right? Watch Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 2017 Full Movie Online 123Movies Go123Movies. Because I’m Dave Chappelle? A tranny, or a drag queen, perhaps. Thank you. I don’t even know how they’d even get such a thing. I don’t know what kind of drugs he was on, but I knew he had too much. It was more confusing than it was infuriating. I don’t know what you call him. So, is there something we can do, short of jail, just to let him know that he’s wrong?” She said, “I don’t know. “Better start getting my affairs in order. Because she’s Muslim? Fuck this shit.” By the way, that’s how people used to get divorced in the ’40s. This will make you very uncomfortable, if he’s just looking at you eating. It’s not too much, is it?” Dr. Butterfingers killed Michael Jackson. It’s not that me and my wife don’t spend time together, but we’ve been married so long, we don’t talk like— I don’t know if anyone’s married here, but after ten years, all that chatty shit goes away. Anyway… I give all married men the same advice, gay or straight. There was a FedEx sitting on the kitchen table, and it was addressed to me, so I opened it. He peeks first to see what’s going on. All contents are provided by non-affiliated third parties. It’s like when that guy threw that banana at me. They are out there somewhere tonight at Whole Foods, touching vegetables, walking around. He goes, “It’s delicious.” I was like, “What?” I don’t think I’ve ever heard pussy called delicious before in my life. FILE - In this Jan. 28, 2018 file photo, Dave Chappelle poses in the press room with the best comedy album award for "The Age of Spin" and "Deep in the Heart of Texas" at the 60th annual Grammy Awards at Madison Square Garden in New York. 3 responses to “TV Review: Two Dave Chappelle Netflix Comedy Specials, ‘Deep in the Heart of Texas’ and ‘The Age of Spin’” bobbysue says: March 18, 2017 at 2:37 pm I didn’t raise him to do this. His dick is, like, 80 years old. They got me. I was like, “Well, you know, n i g g a, you’re gay, man. Can we all just say that we’ve seen it coming? You see that? I just— I don’t know. It’s called the mercy jerk. What happened to the brother in Dallas? He said, “Fuck you, you fucking nigger!” And then the light turned green and they sped off. They were like, “Well, Mr. Chappelle… sixteen identical police reports. It’s that Ray Rice shit. All rights reserved. What’s going on?” I knew it was bad. And then, not only did he throw a banana peel at me, but… it was premeditated. Well, all right. I was like, “Measles? He looked right into the camera and said, “Obama, I am back.” [swish] I saw that shit, I said, “Oh, my God. I knew one of these nights— I was like, “Somebody’s gonna throw a banana at me one of these nights.” ‘Cause that’s how it starts, with the name-calling. ♪ N ♪. He just hit me from angles I wasn’t expecting. Ebola was in Texas. Fat black people have a really rough road, because all manner of things kill white people. I’m kidding. No guy says that. And I felt sick to my stomach, and I looked up at the clock, and then I saw my wife was coming home in ten minutes, and I just panicked. Seriously. I’d just be like, “I’m good, right? I might be smoking a cigarette with the kids in the car. Here you come out of your corner, pussy. Why would I be mad? What is this? You get that first squirt. That’s the very welcome message delivered this morning by a pair of comedy specials, part of a three-special deal the comic inked with Netflix. It’s good to know that plaid is back in. His dick’s gonna be chafed the fuck up tomorrow. And then they arrested the guy, which was… [laughs] I said, “Someone’s gonna fuck you in the butt in the holding cell. But it was not a good look. I didn’t even want him. I want a two-piece. It’s good!” It needs something. “How the fuck are you gonna have a game without us?” But it turned out that the black guy he was speaking of was none other than Magic Johnson, the billionaire! He’d be like, “All right, Mrs. Chappelle, just try to relax.” I’d push him. God forbid, somebody could shoot me. Listen, sir, I don’t know what she’s saying, but just take my advice. Movie Title: Deep in the Heart of Texas: Dave Chappelle Live at Austin City Limits, Hibiscus (Suivai Pilisipi Autagavaia, from short film Manurewa) and the take no nonsense Ruth (Anna-Maree Thomas) have been friends since school. I’m a little flustered. I looked at my sister, and she said, “I got the plates.” And I was happy as shit because throwing a snowball at a motherfucker is a misdemeanor assault. She sucked that old guy’s dick. Pfft! Bop.” We’re good friends. He came over and was staring at me. Although, I can see that, in recent years, that seat has been occupied by Mexicans… and I daresay Arabs. It’s pussy juice.” That shit was so funny to me, I must’ve wrote, like, no less than 40 jokes with the punch line “pussy juice,” and all of them worked to some degree 100% of the time. Sorry about that, Officer. Well, congratulations, fellas.” And Manuel was like, “Gracias.” And he went to go get some drinks, and then my buddy looked at me. I live in Ohio, right? My wife once called me a pussy… in front of dinner guests. Sad. I’m a germophobe. And she laughed a little, and it helped her relax, and we started talking, and then she cracked a few jokes… that hurt my feelings, honestly. movies132.to/2020/1... 0 comments. I hid it.” I said, “I don’t want to talk about the sandwich. Now, in high school, this guy was a thug. I’ve seen them do it on YouTube. It’s very serious.” You just watch your buddy slowly die in a pool of his own shit. Drink some water. Everybody heard him say it. He was a fucking dope boy. If you know anything about show business, it is really hard to get fired from the fucking Food Network. So, I just mumbled and shit throughout this conversation. Can’t keep him.” And then my kids started crying and screaming like the dog had gambling debts. 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What the fuck? What did you have in mind?” “Miss, I’ve never been in this position before. And the next time someone tries to make you feel bad about yourself, just remember: Everybody fucks funny to somebody.” He didn’t like that shit. Career-ending bad. I saw his name up on the marquee about a week before. So, if you’re ever caught in traffic, and a black guy starts saying he just wants to talk to you, don’t open the door. I personally didn’t believe it. First of all, I’ll tell you right now what I said, and I’ll tell you this was not a joke. Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he’s a person in a court…. But I’m what they call a man of his word. What I’m doing is adding value to their lunch. I’m gonna eat it. Just tell me the truth. Let’s go home.” That’s a quiet car ride home. And he threw a snowball, that shit hit me right in my chest. I think that you’re both right.” And what I was doing when I said that was preserving the possibility of a threesome with these bitches. “They’ve done it again. It’s the most gangster shit I’ve ever heard of in my life. He’s the first openly gay NFL player. -I love you, too. Shop for the Dave Chappelle - Dave Chappelle: The Age Of Spin And Deep In The Heart Of Texas and receive free shipping on your order and the guaranteed lowest price. You know what I mean. This has happened to me before. Pfft! Come on out for one second. ‘Cause if I was in a hot tub with a girl, and I could tell that the pussy was juicy while I was in the hot tub, I’d probably get out of the tub. The only parents that are nice to me is a lesbian couple— Kate and Sarah. I just want to talk.” Now, this is an old black trick. We needed a goddamn break. share. save. And there’s a lesson in that for all of us. Isn’t that a fucking amazing coincidence that this disease hates everybody that old, white people hate? And the teacher is waiting outside for me. Small town in Ohio. Now I might smoke some weed in the middle of the night, and she’ll leave neatly-wrapped sandwiches all over the kitchen. If I could’ve froze time at that moment and gave Ray Rice some advice, I don’t think there’s any way possible I’d be like… “You should punch her in the face.” That’s a fucking terrible idea. And she’s really jerking me off. [announcer] Give it up one more time for Dave Chappelle! We love you at the house.” I said, “Miss, please, just— All right, look. I started to get mad, but then I was like, “Fuck it. I had a friend from high school. Police are killing us again. Chappelle gets real about racially charged run-ins, celebrity scandals and fatherly dilemmas in a searing stand-up set at Austin's Moody Theatre. Because a dog will love you all the time, but she’s not going to. He was like, “What’s up, man? I got one son that goes to a public school. “David?” “Hmm?” “Don’t eat the kids’ lunch.” And then she walks away. Twenty years from now, he’ll be tucking his kids into bed, and the kids will be like, “Daddy, tell me about the day you threw that banana peel at that nigger in Santa Fe.” “Boy, I tell you what. That’s what they do. I heard you’re gonna be in New York doing a show. Deep in the Heart of Texas: Dave Chappelle Live at Austin City Limits 66m Chappelle gets real about racially charged run-ins, celebrity scandals and fatherly dilemmas in … I get it. You don’t even know if he’s having sex with these women. I saw in The New York Times— they said Ebola is the new AIDS. Thanks! I was mad as fuck. Which doesn’t make sense at all. If I say I’m coming, there’s still that— [imitates gunshot] It doesn’t mean I like getting shot. It glistens in the light. Hell no. They brought him home from the shelter. Not to profile. And me and my sister start dancing. But I knew that she was just really mad about that tape, so now she was gonna punish me about a fucking sandwich that I’d bit. You know what I’m saying. There’s 50 just pounding away at that bean, over and over. Close. [cheers and applause] Pretty damn good. I’m not gonna finish. I was just like, “Hey, n i g g a, I heard you was gay. The famous Captain Spaulding returns from Africa and attends a gala party where a valuable painting is stolen. Of course I love my wife. Thank you very much. I’ll be right back.” You would just leave with the clothes on your back. Come on, man.” This went on for a while. Foot on the coffee table, just stroking it out, taking my time. “You gotta be careful, baby. I just picture Lil Wayne like… “What is this strange oil… floating in my hot tub water? Look it up online after the show. ♪ Oh ♪ They was mischaracterizing my jokes, trying to make a point off of me, when it was really like— “Yo, I’m your ally, motherfucker. A world wide electrical outage occurs. I’ll be showing up late all the time, and I’m, like, in a Porsche, and I’m blasting music that they don’t like. I already know you bit the sandwich. ♪ Whoo! I didn’t like it, either!” And then an old white guy stepped out of the crowd and said, “Young man, if you’re going to fill out a police report, I would like to come with you and do the same.” I said, “You guys would do that for me?” And the whole crowd said, “Hooray!” I said, “Come on, y’all!” I looked like Malcolm X going to see Brother Johnson with a trail of white people. Here it goes. She’s mad at me now ’cause I got myself in trouble. Maybe she’s butt-naked and she’s down on one knee, giving me a hand-job. This guy’s been fucking from 40 years before Bill Cosby’s first rape. And I watched the tape, and it was awful. If it was a Newport, I’d be like, “A black dude threw that up.” But a Marlboro menthol, that’s one of them riddles. I know. That’s when men were men. I don’t know who she said it to, but whoever it was was just looking at her like, “I’m gonna get you for this, bitch.” That shit came back 30 years later like a Bill Cosby rape and sunk her battleship. Everybody be comfortable and relax. You know, wine and cheese and baller conversation. ♪ I beat the pussy up ♪ That’s a pretty harsh song. Comedy icon Dave Chappelle makes his triumphant return to the screen with a pair of blistering, fresh stand-up specials. And you know why the guy said he did it that night? Down on his luck, Scotty McKay becomes the master of a very lonely genie, who brings him wealth, power and…. Yeah. [grunting and panting] “My God, what have I done? You’re bleeding a little bit. This is where it all went wrong for you. A romantic comedy set in the Southern California beach scene. He’d be like, pow! Press J to jump to the feed. Comedy icon Dave Chappelle makes his triumphant return to the screen with a pair of blistering, fresh stand-up specials. I’m just being real. Oh, my gosh. I’ll be butt-naked in the living room like, “Get these fucking toys out of my way!” Disgusting. That’s one thing she made me do. I can’t even post a dick pic, and this motherfucker is decapitating people. Oh, we fight dirty at the Chappelle household. The other big sports story was, fucking, Ray Rice’s tape. If you was fucking a girl, and she’s like, “Is this pussy good?” And you’re like, “Yeah, it’s juicy. Chappelle celebrated George Floyd’s life and ripped the media for the way it handled his death in a surprise Netflix special. Take care.” I was about to hang up, but I couldn’t resist. In his second comedy special for EPIX, Craig Ferguson puts his sometimes cheeky, always irreverent spin on universal topics from sex and drugs to rock & roll-including his hilarious experiences with Mick Jagger and Kenny G. Kevin Hart serves up laughs and brick oven pizza from the comfort of his home, and dishes on male group chats, sex after 40 and life with COVID-19. Who, by the way, made me feel much better. This could’ve been anybody. Your lips seem to be swollen. How about this? I don’t know where he gets that from. So, I ran out into the street, and I just tapped on his window. Getting me to agree to this was beyond his wildest dreams. But—” Will you guys lighten the fuck up? That’s when he’s always horrified. Yeah. And… his little brother goes to a private school. Run out of Kentucky Fried Chicken? I got this. Then I pull into that handicapped space. And all my friends are like, “Yo, Dave, that shit is dope. I had to explain all of this to my wife. MOVIES132.TO Free full movies links, hd streaming and Tv series. Oh. That school is very— It’s a liberal school. It’s hard for white people to understand, but what I’m saying is very true. Actually, Kate hates my guts. If I say I’m coming, I’m coming. No, seriously. You know what I said? I have no problem with gay people, but I fucking hate bloggers. This item: Dave Chappelle: The Age of Spin & Deep In the Heart of Texas by Dave Chappelle Vinyl $21.49 Only 1 left in stock (more on the way). Copyright © Go123Movies. Can we talk to you for a minute in the office?” I said, “No, fuck that. The second part is titled, Deep in the Heart of Texas: Dave Chappelle … But it’s definitely an acquired taste. But that’s not the point. Is he okay?” Then they looked at me like I was evil. That’s some very bold Color Purple-type shit. She’s like, “I’m gonna get some sleep, Dave. And I got a bowl of cereal waiting for me right here. I was like… He wasn’t paying attention. And when yet another affair is discovered, all three women team up to plot mutual…, Two carefree pals traveling through Alabama are mistakenly arrested, and charged with murder. [woman shouting] -Huh? But he knows all my habits. And they dropped that bitch like a hot potato. The backside surprised me the most.” “Well, pussy, let’s take a look at round four. So, imagine my surprise when I go to pick my son up after all this happens. Why is measles in the news?” It turns out they were trying to decide if mandatory vaccinations for children is the way we all want to go. People my age and younger, I don’t think we even— We dance to that shit. I don’t even know why he would do that. But he didn’t think it all the way through, lady. She was looking at me, like, “Oh, my God.” I said, “I know. No sign of a struggle. Don’t like.” How is this guy cutting people’s heads off on YouTube? ♪ Buy me ♪ This place is virtually undisturbed. Because you start out loving each other. “Well, you’re gay, n i g g a. That’s not the best way to handle that if I am racist. I don’t think any of us tasted pussy our first time like… [smacking lips] “Mmm! Good to see everybody out here tonight. It looks like you got 50 with a right and a left, but then 50 slips you a jab. We needed a break. You can’t just be throwing banana peels at Dave Chappelle. Tough time for the blacks. You know what it is.” But I’m not gonna be mad. ♪ Workinonit ♪ I’ll leave that for Chris Rock. Tell me, pussy, what happened inside of that ring with 50?” [panting] “I don’t know, Larry. But now Hibiscus is in her final year of…. After discovering her boyfriend is married, Carly soon meets the wife he’s been cheating on. With Dave Chappelle, Morgan Freeman. Really, I didn’t want to talk. I’ll do one more just so you believe me. You know what I’m saying? Don’t rush a motherfucker that’s trained to stiff-arm people in the clutch. Don’t let people get you down, all right? Devoid of religious significance or the idea of love, marriage is nothing but an awful contract that you shouldn’t sign. What is this? ♪ I’m a man ♪ [thumping] “My man, could I just talk to you guys for a second? These are men. And if I go, he’ll go. FILE - In this Jan. 28, 2018 file photo, Dave Chappelle poses in the press room with the best comedy album award for "The Age of Spin" and "Deep in the Heart of Texas" at the 60th annual Grammy Awards in New York. He said, “What the fuck does that mean?” I said, “Huh?” He said, “You saying I fuck funny, motherfucker?” I said, “No, that’s not what I’m saying. After losing his wife seven years earlier, the eccentric Dr. John Dolittle, famed doctor and veterinarian of Queen Victoria’s England, hermits himself away behind the high walls of Dolittle Manor…. He was like, “Fuck it, man! This movie tell story about Comedy icon Dave Chappelle makes his triumphant return to the … The first part is titled, The Age of Spin Live at The Hollywood Palladium. All we know is that he punched Sarah Jr. in the face.” I said, “Oh, no!” Sarah’s one of the only parents I’m not sure I can beat up in this school. Be well, be happy. You didn’t know that? Good to be back in Austin, Texas. He actually did that. Because… that’s who made the tape. All right. Yeah, please. How’s that gonna work?” And Kate will instantly be furious. They brought him in like a prisoner. ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Revolution ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ In every ghetto ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪ ♪ Ah-ah ♪ [man] I’m rich, biatch! Let’s get to the club. Son, what’s going on? That doesn’t make sense. Well, what do you think I’m gonna do? And they can’t just change their ruling just because the tape came out. Like, “Am I all right?” She’s like, “Girl, that pussy is…” [clicks tongue] She’d be like, “Yeah.” I don’t think men should be allowed to be gynecologists. Chappelle gets real about racially charged run-ins, celebrity scandals and fatherly dilemmas in a searing stand-up set at Austin's Moody Theater. Here I am, thinking that old AIDS was working just fine, and they already have a new AIDS out. You can have a loud orgasm. Like that Paula Deen. And I asked him. Sort by. Read honest and unbiased product reviews from our users. I didn’t say anything that would allude to gay men not being men. I didn’t know this is what we were doing.” Here’s my thing. Sorry about that.” And he corrected me. It was real talk. It’s like if you have a good barbeque, you don’t even think about it. Whatever he was, he was definitely a man. Directed by Stan Lathan. Like, can a gynecologist lose their license… for smelling their fingers during an exam? I come home from the road. Isn’t that weird? Let me just say this. First of all, you shouldn’t do it.” I’m talking about being legally married. I bring him up because last year, he calls me out of the blue, like, “Yo, what’s up, man? ♪ Tune ♪ “Remain Seated,” his latest solo special, will show you why this Grammy nominated, multi-platinum recording artist, and Billboard award winner is at the top of his game. What happened?” “Well, that’s it. All of this is the build up to the transgender skit that dampened the whole Deep in the Heart of Texas special for me. “Back up, motherfucker! He goes, “Dave, I want you to meet Manuel. He’s composing the voiceover I’m saying to you right now. I wasn’t gonna throw that hard work away with some Ray Rice shit. How are you?” “You didn’t hear? Probably something wrong with him. Larry the Cable Guy is back to Git R Done. [crowd cheering] Is the word “pussy” offensive? Anyone got a cigarette I can borrow? And he’s definitely not getting it from that school. ♪ I spell M ♪ But if I was a heroin addict and I had a licensed physician injecting heroin in me, I should survive that. You had that shit waiting on me. “I don’t know, Dave. But, again, I knew it was premeditated. We spend the most time together. © 2020 Scraps from the Loft. No thing in this world is as cold as a woman’s cold shoulder, ’cause she was mad, but she wouldn’t talk to me about it. You guys going to the father-son picnic next week? Anyone see that Ray Rice tape? Not a banana. If he smells weed in the house, he’ll be like… [sniffing] “Oh, this motherfucker’s about to eat.” And he’ll just come running. It’s been going on all week.” I said, “What’s going on all week?” He said, “We was at lunch, and that bitch bit my sandwich.” I said, “Oh.” He said, “It’s the fourth time this week. You could tell. And I was like, “Uh-oh.” I thought I was gonna get jumped. I had to give him a piece of my sandwich so he’d go away, and that’s how we became friends. “Oh. You know what I mean. That’s the one that happens in the middle of the night when you’re about to roll on top of her and you see her face, and you’re like, “She looks tired.” That takes a lot of love and discipline to back out of a room with a rock-hard dick. Anyway, she gets mad at me. Deep in the Heart of Texas can feel a bit dated--given that it’s two years old, there are references to Ebola and the infamous recording of Ray Rice in that elevator--but it also contains a long set piece in which Chappelle hilariously imagines Lil Wayne as a gravel-voiced detective on “CSI.” Read full … Disco balls Texas | Amazon.com.au | Music Thanks [ moans ] he looked sick and. For us? ” “ Well, what do you think I ’ ll say shit, and had. Tapped on his window was down this before tape was made before they were like, can gynecologist! 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